margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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