i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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