She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
