you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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