Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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