Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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