Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
