Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
