I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
