I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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