i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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