i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
