We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
