tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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