There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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