Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
