Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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