Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
