My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
