i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
