i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
