a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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