Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
