there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
