Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
3pm strippers are depressing
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Two words: blizzard sex
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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