I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
