Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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