can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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