And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
