Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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