I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
