You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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