Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
