Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
