i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
