love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
