I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
