...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
high people should be assigned attendants
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
