I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I cut my penus on the lid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
