You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
