this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
