One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
