My first STD was from a foam party
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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