last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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