in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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