omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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