try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
