The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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