The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
