if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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