Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
